I already know before I even type this post that the title is going to be misleading. I've spent the morning listening to podcasts while working, which is what I do when I'm feeling BLAH and more pessimistic than usual about my current work situation. This usually always leads to the same result; I get really pumped about pursuing my dreams and then wanting to quit my job and create my own dream job and then getting bummed because reality sets in a bit because of worry about money, stability or "adulting". But this time, I knew that I really had to do it. I can't do this anymore. My "job" is getting in the way of my dream at this point. All the time I spend stuck at my office, is time taking away from growing my business. It's getting in the way of me meeting with clients, stopping by the printer or working on the work I have so much passion for. So I don't know what's happening or going to happen in the future. I don't know where I will be in the next 3 months, 6 months or year. I don't know how long it will take me to make that leap into freelance, but I have to do it.  I can't keep putting it off out of fear or other people's fear for me.

So yes, amazing things are coming. I'm not positive what they will be, but failure is not an option. I may shift gears or end up evolving into a business I would've never dreamed, but failure is not something I can do. I believe in myself too much, my passion is too strong and I want to set an example and prove all of my own fears wrong.

If I could sum up Instalife Lately in 3 words they'd be: spring, school and design.

I've been spending all of my free time lately doing genealogy and I'm so obsessed. I've been taking mini trips out to cemeteries and towns where my ancestors were born, lived and died and it's been very cool. Finding where you come from and putting faces and names together is very surreal. I highly recommend to anyone to start! Once you do, you'll be hooked!


The rest of life has been filled with family shindigs, design work and school. My parents decided to finally get rabbits at their house so now Conrad is super attached to them. <3 I've been helping a friend with all of her wedding invites, print materials and what not so that's kept me busy. I also have some really amazing design projects going on. I'll share those as they are completed. School is going really great and I'm excited to finish the semester out.

The leaves are all over the trees in the yard and I'm loving it. The bluebonnets are everywhere and everything is just thriving... and I'm sneezing of course. I'm excited for Spring and Summer. I've got good feelings about it. Adventures and new things ahead. 

 

Let's get personal again.

This is an open letter to everyone to encourage you to try to push aside your preconceived judgements.  Don't just me based on only my appearance. Do not judge anyone solely on that. Give everyone a chance. That guy you've been brushing off because he doesn't look trendy enough... take him up on coffee. The quiet girl working alone... she's probably nice..maybe its just resting bitch face... The girl who isn't skinny enough or blonde enough that would give you the world... give her a chance. The best of us are quick to judge, it doesn't mean we are shallow or bad people. It does mean that we can make a decision to not let it effect our decisions. 

Hello beautiful people of the interwebs! Its a rainy and chilly day here in East Texas. Normally these kind of days make me want to curl up and stay in bed and finish season 5 of The Walking Dead. But instead, I put on my brightest mustard yellow sweater, because I always gravitate towards yellow when its a rainy day. Life has been INSANE! So I've been slacking on the Fit & Happy posts, and most posts in general. Today I can finally breathe a bit so I wanted to recap how things have been lately. I'm focusing mostly on mental health and happiness today so get ready for some heavy stuff. In case you've missed it, each (most) Tuesday I'm writing my goals and recapping the previous week's goals in my journey towards mental and physical health/happiness. You can find the previous posts here.

It's week 3! Thanksgiving wasn't as overindulgent as it could have been so I'm giving myself big brownie points there. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! Sadly, mine was quite lonely. Normally I spend the day with my family but this year my son was with his Dad's side of the family and we didn't do our usual family get together. I had Thanksgiving with my parents the day before but I missed seeing my cousins and grandparents. I spent most of the day watching Game of Thrones and drinking wine. :-\ So while it wasn't a complete failure, it was lonely. This weekend though we did have our annual Friendsgiving and it was great. I love my circle of friends. They feed my soul.

So here's how it went this past week with my week two goals.

- Enjoy Thanksgiving. Even though Thanksgiving day wasn't the best, Friendsgiving more than made up for it!

-Focus On Feeding My Heart & Soul I think friend time and time with Conrad really helped me get through this past week.  It was miserable weather all week long and the cuddling and movie marathons really helped.  We put up our Christmas tree, which always adds a little bit of magic to my day and each time I look at the sparkling lights. Anxiety and depression have been creeping up on my lately so this past week has been really uplifting.

-Cutback On Meat Unconsciously I did really well here. Apart from Turkey I did pretty good.

-Spend 30 Minutes Every Day Being Active This is something I keep forgetting to do daily. Though we did A LOT OF walking, I need to push myself in this department.

 -Cut Out Fast Food I made it through the whole week without fast food! That's quite a victory honestly.

-Get Rid Of The Things We Don't Need I cleaned a lot but didn't declutter or get rid of things like I had hoped. I blame it on the weather.

-Go Somewhere New Again the weather kept us inside most of the time but I did adventure out a little bit on Wednesday to some random thrift stores and pawn shops.

-Spend an hour drawing / painting I doodled quite a bit this past week! I didn't get to paint, but there's something so lovely and raw about black ink of paper to me. I love it.

So I did OK this past week. I definitely need to focus more on working out now that I'm somewhat got my eating habits in check. I cave once or twice a week and have a soda but definitely not daily like I used to. I've also been drinking tons of water like a crazy water person. I feel like I can never get enough! I think that blogging each week what I'm struggling with has helped me a lot in feeling accomplished. I'm also continuing to feel more and more confident in myself which is amazing.




- Create a fitness routine. This was something I was hoping I'd be able to avoid, but if I don't, it won't get done. So I'm going to start out with a basic list and see what happens. I want to tone my arms and legs and of course my stomach so maybe I'll pick up some light weights.

-Write In My Journal I've been having a lot of anxiety and depression these past few weeks. It's weird because I haven't had any of these issues since high school but they've been creeping up on me. I'm hoping that putting my thoughts down and doodling in my journal will help.

-Cut Back On Carbs & Portions This week I'm going to focus on cleaning the carbs out of my life and shrinking my food portions.

-Spend 30 Minutes Every Day Being Active I'm going to set an alarm to remind me to do this every evening. Whether its just playing soccer or zumba on the Wii, I have to do something!

-Decorate For Christmas There's something magical about decorating that really lifts the spirits. We put up our tree over the weekend, but I want to decorate the rest of the house.

-Try Something New I want to try out a new hobby or past time this week. Not sure yet what, but I'll find something! Picking up piano again is something I've been wanting to do so maybe I'll do that.

-Spend an hour drawing / painting I want to keep this up so I'll leave it here again this week. 

Okay there are week three's goals! I really hope I can accomplish most of these. What struggles have you faced in getting healthy and happy? If you want to join in on this with me or blog along let me know in the comments! I'll be tracking my journey on Instagram & Twitter with hashtag #fitandhappytues


 

It's that time of year again! (Eeeek! It's so daunting thinking about being another year closer to 30!) As with tradition I make a yearly list of things to do before my next birthday. Last years list was quite epic! I've accomplished a lot of things personally and professionally! I'm doing things daily in my shop and business that I never would have imagined I'd be doing. One thing that I'm realizing never gets done is the traveling items on my list! That definitely needs to change! So here we go!

I feel like I've sat down and written or attempted to write this post in some form at least a dozen times. Can we get real about life for a minute? I think my generation and those older than me were raised with this preconceived idea of what success is. Its some combination of the "dream job", the mortgage,  the family, the picket fence and new car every few years. All of those things are all based on material things that we can for the most part live without or with a downsized version of. We've been told that working hard will buy you all the things you need in life to be happy. I've been in a constant battle with myself to find happiness the past few years with very little success.

When I was a teenager I struggled very hard with anxiety. I didn't realize that it was anxiety until several years into it. I was horribly insecure with myself. I worried about what everyone thought of me. I couldn't sit in a quiet room for an extended period of time without feeling like I couldn't breathe. At night I would have really bad panic attacks.  I would fall sleep and jerk awake right before falling asleep, not able to breathe and my heart racing. It felt like my throat was closing up. It was terrifying. And I was always a secretive person and didn't have a typical relationship with my parents where I talked about all of my problems. Going to the dentist and having to sit still was terrifying to me. And the only time they ever used the gas on me at the dentist was one of the worst experiences of my life. I probably should've been put on prescription medication for something.

I'm happy to say that I overcame it on my own. Having a child and becoming responsible by the time I was 20 changed me. Maybe it was because by the end of the day with a newborn I was ready to pass out and didn't have time to worry about anxiety! Regardless, I've learned to become comfortable in my skin and have more confidence.  Even now with baby weight and then some, I'm more confident than I've ever been in my life.

I'm still a worrier though. And dealing with rejection from people in my professional life and personal is a very hard pill for me to swallow. I worry constantly about satisfying everyone. I worry about getting orders out on time, whether the font is right for something or if I'm a good mother. I worry about being enough to the man who I consider my soul mate.  And when I make mistakes or fail I take it VERY hard. But this is something too that I'm learning to deal with.

I woke up this morning worrying about a lot of personal and professional things going on. I realized how much it's been eating at my happiness and have made a decision to no longer live that way. I've decided to wake up each morning and conquer the shit out of my life and make the life that I want. No more dwelling and constant worry. Some things cannot be changed, and the things that can be, I have to woman up and take care of business.

Have you dealt with anxiety or are you a HUGE worrier like me? Tell me your story and what you do to overcome it daily. I'd love to hear your experience! I still struggle every day, but I'm trying.  And if you do too, you're not alone.